Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Decisions and Updates

The weeks are flying by and it will be Christmas before we know it.  I am excited to almost be done with this semester.  I am so ready for a break and to be done with school at least for a little bit.  I have decided not to continue to a master's program after graduation.  Russ got his classes lined up for law school last week and everything became really real for us.  It is going to be hard work for him to work full-time and go to law school full-time.  I just don't feel like I need to go to school and work as well.  I have been in school a long time and am really ready to start living again.  I want to decorate, try new recipes, grow in my job as a NICU nurse, volunteer, and make friends.  And I plan to blog about all of it.  I can't wait to see my little blog grow and be able to spend more time on here.  It was scary to make the decision to not continue on to grad school (at least right now) as weird as that sounds.  It was scary to give up that control and be content.  However, it allowed me to really start thinking about what I wanted to do with my life and it is amazing to already see what God is working on.  It shows that I made the right decision and I couldn't be happier.  I am so thankful for His blessings.  

This past week was nice.  I got to spend time with my mom and Mamaw getting a pedicure.  I love that my Mamaw is still able to go with us to get our toes done.  We had brunch at Cracker Barrel and then headed to Target and Kohls real quick.  After that we had our pedicures and it was heaven.  I hadn't had my toes done in forever and my tootsies were definitely in need of some lovin.  When they finished my Mamaw's toes, she decided she wanted her fingernails painted too!  She always ends up messing them up before we get to the car, but it makes her feel special, so that's all that matters. 

I spent a lot of time with my sweet furry animals this past week.  I even let Bella in the house.  She is an outside dog due to her nervous bladder, but she was good this time and my floors stayed dry.  

On Sunday, Russ and I went to our old church.  It is so nice to see those sweet people, especially our precious Abby.  I love that little girl.  Russ melts my heart with her and makes me look forward to him being a daddy someday.  He will be the best!  After church we headed to my Mamaw's house for lunch with family.

I love my family so much and this didn't even capture the kitchen full of people.  Sunday lunch at Mamaw's is the best!  When lunch was done we headed to my parent's house to put together shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child.  It is tradition to watch Homeward Bound before Thanksgiving with mom.  We have done it for most of my life.  I think it is because at the end of the movie they are having Thanksgiving dinner.  I love this movie and it reminds me of special times with my mom.  So, we put together shoeboxes and watched our movie.  It was fun!

Mr. Kitty helped! 

We headed back to Knoxville and got ready to go to the Lady Vols game.  Russ got free tickets from his work and we had the best seats.  I love going to the UT games and cheering on the Vols!

I loved spending time with my family and my love! 


Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Don't Worry, But Have Faith

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Today I am having a lot of trouble with worrying.  I felt like I had gotten better with not worrying so much, but it is so hard sometimes.  I think I wish God could directly tell me every little step to take.  I know God is with us and as long as we are trying to make the best decision possible then He will take care of the rest.  It just gets hard sometimes because I wish He could just tell me what to do.  I have been doing a lot of praying lately about what path to take next.  I'm getting so burnt out on school.  I'm so ready to have a life again.  I want to spend time with friends and family.  I'm ready for Russ and I to get to our next phase of life.  I know I'm only twenty-four and when I say that out loud it does sound young.  However, I have been in college since I was 18!  I took some breaks here and there, but have been pretty busy with school for a long time.  (And you have to remember Russ and I have been together since we were 16 and married since 21.  We aren't the typical 24 year old couple). I'm ready to get more involved in church and just have life more easy-going.  The truth is, as a NICU nurse, I truly LOVE my job.  I just always had this goal of being a family nurse practitioner, though, so it has made me confused.  I have fear of failing myself, my family, and most of all God.  I want to be all He wants me to be.  It is so weird because with Russ, we knew for sure that he was supposed to go to law school.  We also know without a doubt that we are supposed to pay cash for school.  God has made a way for all of that to happen.  Today, we found out that we are going to have to pay for more than we thought, but with God's help, we will still be able to pay cash for his law school.  My path, however, is just so unclear.  I've got so many different ideas of what to do.  That is the great and confusing thing with nursing;  There are so many options that for someone as indecisive as me it can be difficult.  There's a part of me that is okay with being a NICU nurse, supporting Russ as he goes through school, and hopefully become a better blogger. ;) Then there is a part of me that can't be content with that.  I want to continually move on to what, maybe I think, are bigger and brighter things, when in reality the grass isn't always greener on the other side.  I've thought about going to school for nurse educator or nurse practitioner.  I've thought about doing lactation specialist, since I work in the NICU already.  I have looked at working full-time, part-time, PRN, going to online programs, traditional nursing programs, full and part-time programs, etc... (My work will pay for school, but I have to work part-time or full-time, not PRN).  I really do not want to be stressed out anymore.  I am just praying that God will help Russ and I make the best decision for our family and that decision will make God proud.  I want Him to use us, and I know He will make everything okay. I hope to have a job where I can be at home the majority of time when we have kiddos someday.  I know that is very important to Russ and myself, and I also know that God will work out all of the details.  I just need to trust Him.

"Never will you find a friend so kind and true. Take it to the Lord in prayer."